thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How does one acquire holy water?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
