This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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