I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
