Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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