4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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