I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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