Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
