I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize