i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
