Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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