im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
