We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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