drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
