Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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