He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
