The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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