I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
