They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize