Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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