Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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