i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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