Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize