..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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