two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
