I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
