Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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