I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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