his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
