i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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