Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
