This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
