i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
