even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
