These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
