Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
