i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
