one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
