What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
