i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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