im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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