and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
