I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
