We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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