Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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