you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
