Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize