what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
