I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Small penises have feelings too.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize