My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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