So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just found puke in my bra..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
