i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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