Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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