smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
