try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I will be naked everywhere
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
