Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
