How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
