the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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