ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
