But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
