i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
