hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
