this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
