So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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