I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
