you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
