great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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