Jerry, you need to find god
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
