Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
